Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
As I get older, I`ve learned to relax and not stress over trivial matters. Just kidding, I`m drunk.
Can I get likes for no reason?