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Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
House cleaning would go a lot faster if the spray bottles made laser gun sounds
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Everytime I find the key to happiness, somebody changes the lock.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
This morning someone threw Skittles at me and said "Taste the Rainbow", I ran them over with my car and sang,"Nationwide is on your side"