Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Haters are my motivators(:
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I`ll read 4 or 5 status updates and I`ll cry, because I relieze how dysfunctional some of my friends life`s are. but then I`ll smile when I remember things like the leftover pizza from last night sitting on the coffee table!
To calculate the average number of times a guy has sex per week, multiply the number of fantasy football leagues he`s in by the number zero.
If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.