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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?