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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
Iām beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
Tieam... problem solved
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ā My stages of getting ready for work