Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.