Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
drinks well with others.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.