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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
Gym Update: Not there.
Sometimes I think of something so wrong and inappropriate that my little black heart skips a beat with delight.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.