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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
I was having breakfast at a friend`s house and she said "How do you take your coffee?" I said "Very seriously."
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.