Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
And then her mood ring just...exploded
Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
Couch pillows are really just fart silencers.
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.