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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
Yes Grandma, I`m almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq
I will always love you, even if I have to from no closer than 300 feet.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.