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Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.