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It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
I`m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.