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No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
"Hey! Aren`t you that guy from the village people?" - Me, to every cop who pulls me over
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
Of course you look good; I don`t have ugly friends.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
If I can see you, you`re invading my personal space.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care