Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
I believe in karma, which is why I`m such a d!ck to total strangers, just in case they deserve it.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Never hire a color blind Bomb Technician.
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!