Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
Sometimes I zone out and forget what Iām supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer.
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
Today`s subliminal thought is: ā¦