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Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
Being an American is awesome. The end.