Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...