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I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.