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I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
Taught a man how to buy fish ... So much easier.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
Line forms here for spankings
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
I Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.