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Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
My business card is just a picture of me looking inside the fridge.
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.