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What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
I start a lot of conversations with "goodbye" in hopes that I trick people into thinking we already talked.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.