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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Vodka is just amazing water.
I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
*Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break.
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.