Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
Are you thinking what I`m thinking? ... F**king pervert. I`m calling the cops.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.