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A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it, I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.