Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!