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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
Black Friday is the second closest thing to a zombie apocalypse except they want sales instead of brains.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
I just awesomed all over the place.
Nothing is more discouraging that unappreciated sarcasm.
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`