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LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges, to stop the weirdos from following you.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
I like the part of the day when food happens.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair Iām losing?
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
My new girlfiend is taking forever to exist.
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.