Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
justin bieber
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
The existence of the `snooze` button tells you everything you ever need to know about the human race.
I have a few skeletons in my closet. But, every single one of them deserved it.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
This hot fudge sundae hasn`t killed me so it must be making me stronger.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.