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Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.