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Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
At a four way stop, it`s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don`t want to touch it any more than you do.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
Last night we were in bed and I asked my wife "What would you like to do to my body more than anything else?" She said "Identify it."
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
Women seem to want security. At least that`s what they yell whenever I approach them.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.