Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.