Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
I need a new bad decision.
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.