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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
This is a lousy dating site.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list