Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
The question isnβt who is going to let you; itβs who is going to stop you.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
If a coworker asks to borrow your pen - sniff it and say, βI think this one is safeβ and see if theyβll take it from your hand.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.