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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?