Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
You may think I`m a loser, but to my goldfish, I`m the god of flakes.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.