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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
Pro tip - You can blame anything on autocorrect.
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Iβm a pervert, but in a romantic way.
Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like youβre talking to yourself.