Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
I shouldn`t have to work. People should just pay me for being awesome.
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.