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Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.