Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
I had s*x with my friend`s wife last night and now I feel awful. She must have had the flu or something.
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Your things are terrific.
Waiter, bring me a bowl of turtle soup and make it snappy.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.