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Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."