Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying