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Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
I want to sleep tighter
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
At least a stalker is there for you.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”