Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
This post is just for you.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
Parts of my body are turning 50 Shades of Gray
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”