Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
"Hey bro shotgun this beer" No I don`t drink "You wanna be cool don`t you?" I don`t drink "C`mon NERD!" Grandma PLEASE stop
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen