Daily Silly Status

I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.

If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.

They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved

Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).

Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.

My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.

Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.

I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.

This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...

WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.

I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.

I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.

I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt

I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.