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According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
If Crunch Berries aren`t considered fresh fruit I don`t think this diet is going to work out.
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.