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There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to