Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
I have some serious self-esteem issues. The last time I posted a selfie I first cropped myself out of it.
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...