Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
I just made you think of an elephant
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
Dear New Years Resolutions People; You don`t have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.
I’m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?