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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!