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I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
I try to find the good in every situation. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached