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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
I don`t know how the law of averages works, but you`d think after 25yrs of marriage I`d be right at least once
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
"I’m not drunk!ā€ is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store