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I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.