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Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she`s homeless.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.