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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Christmas spirit? I`m proud to say I`ve got plenty of that. I`ve got rum, whiskey, gin, brandy, vodka and tequila.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."