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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.