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the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.