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I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.