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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
Condom commercials should just be 30 seconds of crying babies pooping and vomiting all over themselves.
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
We`re shutdown, but not `stop collecting taxes` shutdown. - the government
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Tried to explain Twitter to my 80 year old Mother, pretty sure she is now insane.
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.