Daily Silly Status

wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.

What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.

I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.

I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?

Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.

Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....

Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......

I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.

I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.

How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?

I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."

Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav

Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs

You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.