Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
I have enough leftover Halloween candy to get me to leftover Valentine`s Day candy time.
I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn`t. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
We get it poets: things are like other things
I make a great second impression.
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?
Every store should have one line for people who have their sh!t together.