Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it so I wouldn’t have to throw out so many bananas.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
i dont have drain bramage.