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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.