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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.